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THE TOLERATION LIST REVISITED
by Suzanne Olsen Wessler
October 1997Early in August I unearthed
my original notebook of notes, resources, daily habits and goals that I had begun as a first-year client. In a little over two years, I had set and achieved goals, explored and experimented, enlarged my circle of resources, and grown enormously.
When I met Penelope, I was searching for a way into commercial theater. I had run a non-profit theater for several years and yearned to advance to a place where financial and professional rewards were greater. I searched (and temped) for ten months before I landed a job as managing director and staff writer for the Jewish Cultural Center for the Performing Arts. That was an important goal to reach after the endless phone calls, interviews, mailings and research. At the same time, I learned how to type well and how to use a computer. I wrote plays, volunteered to teach a musical theater workshop at City Lights Youth Theater, consulted as development associate for NY Children's Theater, got a job as assistant director for the Shakespeare Project for two productions, directed a one-act comedy, taught my first acting workshop, produced a play that went to Madrid's International Theater Festival and I took flamenco lessons! I was finding out what I was capable of. And most importantly, I returned to college to finish my degree. In the last year, I've taught writing, acting and cultural studies at a high school in Long Island City which helped me recognize my life's work: to teach high school English and continue to write plays and poetry.
None of it seemed fast. None of it felt amazing. But, step by step, call by call, I had changed. And for the first time, I felt sustained by my work and my career map. How did it happen?
I think I stuck to the basics. Daily habits, monthly and weekly goals, calling and writing resources on a regular basis, and the terrific little tool called the toleration list. Who remembers the toleration list in the Clean Sweep?
I re-discovered it in August and decided to try it out again. This is what I did: I listed all the little annoying things in my life that I put up with, that I tolerate. And I targeted three each week to complete. Simple as that. My list included: review and revise my resume, edit my last teaching project videotape, write letters to four friends that I've been promising to for about a year, sign up at the Carmine Street Recreation Center, learn to use the Internet and learn to send E-mail, buy tickets for the Pilar Rojas flamenco performance, rearrange my bookshelves, print out last teaching report, change files over from '96 to '97, write a promised oral history paper for the woman who had generously shared her life story, practice algebra, and replace the shower curtain in my
bathroom. Each week, some of the list was targeted and completed. Sometimes I resisted. Alternative solutions were revealed, such as the oral history report which was transformed into a monologue for the one-woman show I'm writing now. By changing the reason to do the report, a difficult chore was transformed into something fun and useful.The result of freeing myself of these many tolerations is many-fold: I feel free from the guilt of procrastination, I've created calming order, it was fun, I am treating myself well, it's great to connect with old friends, and it actually creates space in my life to do more creative things. The bottom line is, doing this list made me feel really good about myself. I was taking care of me. I was honoring my space, my work, my dreams. I felt so proud when I cruised the Internet for the first time, and when I sent my first E-mail (to Penelope, of course). I intend to make a toleration list until there is nothing left to list! Anyway my rediscovered enthusiasm for the toleration list's terrific results was something I wanted to share with all my fellow artists, and career builders. Try it again and feel the freedom.
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