ARTICLES:
straight from your garden
Articles by and for The Creative Seed clients
MIXING FAMILY & BUSINESS
By Susanna Schrobsdorff
July 1998One might think..
that the nine women assembled for dinner on a warm June night had nothing more in common than the fact that they were all new mothers. Before the babies arrived, the singer might never have met the social worker and the public relations executive would probably not have had much to say to the casting director. But as we had discovered, nothing makes friendships gel faster than the first year of motherhood boot camp. We had shared intimate details of giving birth with each other, but this night the subject was somehow more personal. We were revealing deeply held thoughts about our needs, goals and insecurities.
Many of us could not even remember the last time anyone asked what we wanted or dreamed of. So when Penelope Brackett, career coach (known to us as Kazden's mother, but starring tonight as the organizer of our roundtable), proposed a dinner discussion on our home-based businesses, most of us were enthusiastic about the prospect of having three uninterrupted hours to talk even if we were not quite sure where it would lead.
Penelope asked us to abandon our preconceptions about what we were capable of. The assignment was to take a clear-eyed look at exactly how we spend our time, what brings us satisfaction and where the frustrations come from. Our answers to her simple questions: "how do you want to affect the people in your business, and where do you want to be in 5 years?" uncorked a barrage of suggestions and encouragement from the group. Despite the diversity of our prospective businesses, most of the challenges were universal.
Trying to keep mothering and working selves separate when your office is at home is tricky. Christine who runs a successful corporate display business out of her Brooklyn apartment encouraged her babysitter to have more playground time with son, Oliver to minimize the temptation of his presence in the next room. Some of us find it hard to judge the worth of our time now that we work at home. "I am trying to figure out how not to look like a totally spacey mom, but still be realistic about how much time I really need and how much I should bill for," says Catherine S. who organizes fund-raisers for non-profit groups.For those who stopped working entirely, the prospect of breaking back into a career even part-time is daunting. Lauren, a professional singer, worries that her skills need polishing: "I've let it slide and now I'm terrified of getting back into it. I feel like it snowballs and I don't even pick up the guitar." Confidence and time seemed to be in short supply for everyone. "How can I think of starting a business when I can barely get a shower," adds Andy, who dreams of her own consignment shop.
Penelope suggested we carve out specific working hours and use each other as a sounding hoard to get past the mental obstacles. More importantly, she encouraged us to verbalize our goals: "Speaking purposefully with a clear intention of how you want to affect others, engages people in your project. Your goals are more real to you and you give others an opportunity to assist you."
Most of us were surprised at how intense our commitment to motherhood is, even now that we are more than a year into it. "I am totally filled with being a mom - more than I thought. I don't want to give any of it up," says Lauren. But as soul-satisfying as motherhood is, we all felt that it is does not define us completely. Christine summed it up: "I love being Oliver's mom, but I need something for me."
How much of the "something" we wanted varied dramatically. For Christine, it is working two or three days a week. For some of us a few days a week doing something we did not enjoy was too much. "Every time I get a project, I dread it. It takes all my energy to organize it and yet I feel like just organizing myself and the baby takes everything I have," says Hillary a casting director for regional theater. But she worries that if she gives up all her clients she won't be able revamp her business when her daughter is older. Penelope suggested that she reconsider full-time motherhood especially given the flexibility in today's business climate and the acceptability of career changes. You can use the skills you have developed as a mother when it is time to go back," adds Penelope.
Everyone agreed that feeling isolated was one of the biggest drawbacks of working at home. Catherine S., described it best; "The thing I miss most about working in an office is that I can't walk out my door and say what do you think of this?" That's where Penelope hopes our mother's group can help. Penelope leads several successful business builders for people who have home-based businesses, particularly creative artists. In weekly teleconference calls, they share strategy, resources and support. During the week, clients manage each other. This evening was a trial run for a mother's business builder.
By the time the check arrived, the group had coalesced into a constructive forum for women performing the ultimate balancing act. Andy was considering consignment shop website. Catherine was planning to introduce Lauren to her brother, a jingle producer. Amy had several store possibilities to market her hand painted gifts. Teleconference calls would allow us to stay connected even as we expand beyond the community that began in a Brooklyn park. Maybe we were starting a virtual watercooler for a new kind of American corporation- a company of mothers re-creating their lives and tailoring their working environments to fit their families.
Sow yourself like a seed.
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