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Fertile Ground
By Lester Thomas Shane
December 1998Recently Penelope asked me to send an electronic copy of her newsletter Fertile Ground, her hard drive's being somewhat barren since the last crash. Which brings to mind thoughts on the word, "crash". Planes, cars, the stock market and hard drives crash with disastrous results, yet we ask friends if we can crash on their couch while visiting. Surely we are not ask-ing them to invite disaster. Is that a throwback to the days when we crashed after a chemically driven trip? Or does it hark to the 50's crash or "bachelor pad" which had nothing to do with a launching pad and the catastrophes that the Challenger calls to mind? But I digress. In some ways, digression is why I'm writing this piece.
As I called up Penelope's newsletter and was doing the copying, cutting, pasting, and sending, the masthead kept staring at me. I suppose I was the one staring and the computer screen was merely passive. Regardless of who or what was doing the staring, I was stuck by the question, "what makes the ground fertile?" Here again, I suppose the question didn't actually strike me in a physical way, yet it had the power to fire my synapses in a new and different way. I realized, as I often do in my work with Penelope, that fertile is about preparedness and readiness; which calls to mind Hamlet's saying, "..if it be not now, tis yet to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. The readiness is all." More digression? Yes. And that's the point.
Fertile ground is filled with all the stuff that makes for growth. On a personal level it takes the form of all those digressions, successions, and disappointments. Everything that is me is my fertile ground. It exists all at once. It must be tended, weeded, and cultivated, but the experience that fills it, makes for the fertility.
While in Ohio this summer directing Bus Stop, I spent the 4th of July holiday waving my sparkler looking at a soy bean field. I was told that last year, the farm grew corn. Periodically they have to rotate the crops because whatever is depleted in their soil by corn, is replenished by soy, and vice-versa. I am astonished that someone at some point actually figured this out. How did this early farmer, faced with a bad corn crop, arrive at the conclusion that soy beans were the answer? I would think he'd blame it on the weather, or luck, and curse whatever gods insure elephant eye-high corn. Was he struck with a flash of inspiration, "soy! That's it!!! Soy!" Was he a scientist able to examine the chemical properties of his soil and analyze the missing elements? Or did some soy seeds happen to land in his field carried by the wind from a neighboring farm and somehow do well in his otherwise bleak year?
When is it better to let the ground lie follow for a reason so that it can replenish itself? What fertilizers can I add? Perhaps a layer of top soil is required to cover an area that has been washed away. Is this the season for soy rather than corn? What is the soy in my life?
A couple of thoughts come to mind. First is the sheer irony that I, with my ever urban sensibilities, would be writing anything with an agricultural metaphor. Second is how silly the phrase "the soy of my life" sounds. The next time I order Chinese I will look at that little packet of sauce with new respect.
How can I separate examining the soil potential from the result of the crops it produces? I am often result oriented. I love Agnes DeMille's line, "either the toe is pointed or it isn't." On the other hand, I frequently recall an acting teacher's telling me, "It's correct, but it's not right." When the result is less than I would have hope for, does the problem lie with the soil, the farming, the choice of crop or was it just that we lacked rain this year? A lot of questions.
In my work with Penelope I have I learned to refine my farming technique. I have also diversified the crops, dividing the field and seeing which is more fruitful. I recognize that while I can't control the rain, I can make the effort to hook up the sprinkler and turn the water on. And there are times that I just don't feel like doing all that work. I have also learned through experience that there are times that my field flourishes and therefore the essential ground must he fertile. My life experience and random digressions continue to enrich the soil.
I can analyze the ground and rigorously test for missing chemicals. I can wait for the winds to simply deposit some fresh seeds. Perhaps I can be struck with a cosmic two by four that will announce the answer in a flash. I can brainstorm strategies with my coach and commiserate with my friends. More likely than not I will do a little bit of all. But I will trust that my ground, filled with questions, digressions, ironies, successes, disappointments and mystery, is not only fertile but sacred. And I won't forget to pray for rain.
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